Evette Dionne. Dating as a plus-size woman is difficult. It’s easy to understand why: A bigoted fear of fat bodies colors interactions between plus-size women and their potential partners. There’s also the subtle — and sometimes overt — ways fat women disparage themselves. Plus, there’s a lack of help available for fat women who want to date often and effectively. The internet is full of twisted advice on how to, essentially, take advantage of larger women by exploiting their insecurities for personal gain. All of these stacked cards make it seem impossible for plus-size girls to find love.
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Dating as a polyamorous woman brings with it a lifetime’s worth of misconceptions and jealousies. Add a few extra layers of fat to that experience, and things can get depressing real fast. As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can’t tell you how often I’ve been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I’m into what I’m into. And I’m not the only one who feels this way.
For anyone who’s going to date a fat woman at some point in their life, here are some tips for not ruining your chances to get with all this. If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I’m fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. I don’t mind if you tend to date fat girls, or really even if you get some specific pleasure from being with a fat woman — but I don’t need that to be the first thing you tell me about yourself.